You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
