Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
