after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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