So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i barfeds in our rink
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Randomize
