I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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