fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
