some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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