Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
