there's paper in my vomit.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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