Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
