So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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