theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
