playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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