i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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