we're blogging at a bar
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
