and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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