they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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