You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
