I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
