im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
