porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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