Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
