apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Randomize
