please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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