You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize
