Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
her vagine was all disorganized.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Randomize
