Whod you bang
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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