I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
