This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
