literally had 100 drinks last night.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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