i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
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