I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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