I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
