is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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