Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
