Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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