i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
