if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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