How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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