i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
