dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
they're like a gay fantastic four
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
