Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
