ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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