I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Hippo gnu deer
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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