HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
