My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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