he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
NoShamevember. You game?
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
