Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
