I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
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Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
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Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
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