I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I will pee on everything he values.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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