worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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