If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
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I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
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I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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