Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
