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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Randomize
