Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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