Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
My vagina just clenched in fear
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize