Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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