So gin and wine won't be happening again
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
