I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
