Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
My life is pants optional.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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